I wish my boyfriend would understand me sometimes.

Lately it seems as if we've been drifting apart. And hell, we can't even agree on how much we argue.

It's really starting to bug me. Among other things he does. But, I digress. I guess I'll "get over it".

It seems there's a lot of double standards going on. I hope we can get past them.

So I come back from work from a much needed break on Wednesday and I come back to a lot of crap on my desk that wasn’t mine. I found a headset (which was from my boss so that I didn’t mind) but also found someone who left their pictures and fruit punch bottle (gross. I would never drink that) and a note on my super awesome Nightmare Before Christmas sticky notes that said “Clean up” in purple ink.

STOP RIGHT THERE.

Someone actually had the nerve to use my desk, leave their nasty concentrated fruit punch drink bottle, leave pictures of children that obviously are not mine and then leave me a message on MY sticky notes that aren’t mine, and the icing on the cake..leave a PRINGLE CAN IN MY DESK and have the nerve, the gall to tell me to clean up? Who would do such a STUPID thing?

And then when my monitor came on who had forgot to log out of my computer? RAQUITA. (And I’m going to use her name because I believe the entire world should be warned of this twit.) Which pissed me off royally since this bitch steals pens from my desk on a constant basis and also left a mess on MY DESK and then had the nerve to tell me to clean up.

REALLY?

So I left a message that said:

“If it’s too messy for you, don’t sit here.”

She then comes in to work which already made me annoyed since I cannot stand her existence and sat down in the desk next to me. After awhile when everyone left she looks at me and said “Jasmine, there were tons of bugs near your desk”. So then I asked her “Well, if I don’t drink sugary drinks nor eat food in/out/around my desk, how did I magically get bugs around my desk?” to which she replied “I don’t know. But I cleaned up over there”. And then only thing I could do is laugh at her assumption that I’m dirty.

Logically, I shouldn’t have bugs around my desk. But let’s take this..

Raquita and her cousin sit next to me. They both drink sugary drinks which they leave open everyday, eat chips and all sorts of candy which they leave inside their desks (and mine since I come into work and there are crumbs and grains of sugar everywhere) and then you have the nerve to sit there and accuse me of being dirty? If I did have bugs at my desk, it’s not because of anything I did.

So afterwards the only thing I could do is laugh because she’s a two-faced idiot who can’t put two + two together. And I heard her whisper to a co-worker about me and then have the nerve to say outloud “You know..you leave for 4 days and leave your stuff a mess”.. and the only thing I could think of was.. “YOU LEFT A DAMN PRINGLE CONTAINER IN MY DESK YOU IDIOT”.

There’s a part of me that really wanted to do this:


But I’ll take the high road and laugh at her ignorance since she’ll be on welfare for the rest of her life ripping off the government while I move on to better things than to deal with low rent mealy mouthed idiots.

I miss my boyfriend.

He hasn't been gone for even a month but I miss him terribly. It;'s so quiet in my house..I have no one to pick one! Maybe I wouldn't be cut out for living alone.

He just told me last night he can't afford a ticket for me to come see him next week. I'm really sad about that. I even moped around work this morning. (Janet suggested I was suicidal this morning..I had to inform her it's not that serious. He's not in Iraq. He's in Missouri.) But even though it will annoy the Hell out of me it looks like I'm going to force myself to do some overtime at my crap job. Oh well. If the end result is me seeing my love for even just a weekend..I can deal with it.

Aside from the boyfriend issue..not too much else going on. Still haven't received my birth certificate to resinstate my license which is pissing me off the longer I sit here. And once I leave the DMV, I'm going to go to the VA Beach police department and filing a complaint against the officer who is responsible for this. (Not that I don't take responsibility for receiving the ticket. It was deserved but he didn't give me a chance to explain why I was driving or that I was going to AAA that moment to get the car fixed and to top it all off he didn't give me a ticket or tell me that I had to go to court. As a result..the bullshizz I'm going through now). So. That is all.

How to describe my last month?

One word: clusterfuck.

In the last month I’ve managed to:

1. Not go to court for a ticket that I supposedly received.

2^ As a result had my license suspended.

3. Inadvertedly hooked up my best friend with a kinda friend.

4. Been lied to by most of my good friends.

5. Had my car break down..again.

6. Had my apartment complex’s towing company tell me they’re going to tow my car because of my plates being late.

7. Hate myself for staying at my dead end,low paying job for longer than I intended.

8. Yelled at my boyfriend numerous times. Some of the arguements being my fault.

9. Had my world turned upside down.

10. Been disappointed. The worst thing I could think of worse than bad sushi.

So that’s the past month of my life in a nutshell. I regret not blogging about them.

But enough with the bad. Just had to get that out of my system. A lot of good has happened lately as well.

I got in touch with about 3 old friends. It’s good finding out what people I used to talk to are up to now. All you can eat sushi restaurant..Enough said. And I’m finally going back to school. Hopefully more good things will happen. *fingers crosses*

Going to make him marry his computer.

*sigh*

Sleeping alone. Again.

I'm. Annoyed. By. This.

One day I'll actually get what I want.

I don't know what his problem is.

What I do know is being intoxicated doesn't help the situation any.

Also, acting like a child=treated like a child.

And lastly, if your motivation is to hurt my feelings, fine. Enjoy the aftermath.

1. What is more difficult: looking into someones eyes when telling how you feel, or looking into someones eyes when they tell you how they feel?
Looking into someone eyes telling them how I feel. It's always so hard for me.

2. Think of the last time you were angry. Why were you angry?
A certain friend and their flirty behavior with my boyfriend. Regardless of the innocence of it all I found it disrespectful.

3. You will die in three minutes. Last call?
My parents.

4. If you could do anything OR wish anything, what would it be?
Unlimited wishes!

5. You can have one of the following two things: trust or love.
They should coincide with each other.

6. You are walking to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss told you if you are late one more time youre fired. Do you save the dog?
Yes.

7. Would you or have you ever blackmailed someone?
I've never blackmailed anyone.

8. Think of the last person who you know that died. You have the chance to give them 1 hour of life back, but you have to give one year of your life. Do you do it?
Yes.

9. Are you the kind of friend that you would want to have as a friend?
Yes.

10. Does sex=love?
No. But with me they go hand in hand.

11. Are you old fashioned?
In some ways.

12. Would you marry someone if they were unable to have sex?
I don't know. :/

13. What would be harder for you, to tell someone you love them or that you do not love them back?
Telling them I love them.

14. What do you think would be the hardest thing for you to give up?
Hmm..

15. Romantic love, when was the last time you told someone you loved them?
Yesterday.

16. If you had to go back in time and change one thing, if you HAD to, even if you have "no regrets" what would you change?
Me messing up in school.

17. Imagine. It is a dark night, you are alone, it is raining outside, you hear someone walking around outside your window. WHO do you wish was there with you?
Jon.

18. Would you give a homeless person CPR if they were dying?
Considering I don't really know CPR, I'd call 911.

19. You are holding onto your grandmother's dying hand and the hand of a newborn that you do not know as they hang over the edge of a cliff. You have to let one go to save the other which one would it be?
Throw them both up as I collapse down the cliff.

20. When and how was the last time you told someone how you REALLY feel?
Sunday night. But I have a feeling he still doesn't understand and won't.

21. Do you tell anyone or everyone you are going to die?
No one.

22. What do you do with your remaining days?
Be happy and go do things I wouldn't usually do.

23. Would you be afraid?
Terribly.

How old were you when you had your first relationship?
First real relationship? About 18.

Are you taken/single?
Taken.
How old were you when you had your first kiss?
5! I know I started early.

What color is your underwear?
Black.

Do you like anyone right now?
I more than like someone right now.

Ever had your heartbroken?
Once.

Miss anyone right now?
I do.

Who was the last person you sent a text to?
I don't remember. My phone's been dead for 3 days.

Last person to text you?
I don't know.

Last person you saw?
Jon.

What was the last thing you said to someone?
"Loserface" to Justin.

Who is top in your top friends?
Jon.

Why?
Because he is my #1.

Who do you trust the most in your life?
No one.

Who do you love most?
Jon.

Ever been in love?
Yes!

Who has hurt you the most?
Jon. :/

Has a tragedy ever happened in your life?
The death of my little brother when I was younger.

Are you happy?
With some things.

How many good friends do you have?
About 5.

Are there some songs you cant listen to because they remind you of someone?
One in particular.

Have you ever cheated on a partner?
No.

Ever been cheated on?
Not to my knowledge.

Ever been told someone loved you?
Yes.

Ever told someone you loved them and meant it?
Always.

Not meant it?
Never.

Ever had your heart broken?
Yes.

Are you happy with where you are relationship-wise now?
For the most part.

When they slip, do you think you can let go the small stuff?
I do most of the time.

Do you believe in love at first sight?
No.

Why or why not?
Because you lust after someone when you first see them.

Do you believe that it is best to have a friendship first then love?
Yes.

Do you believe that love can be found in bars or is that too much of a risk?
You can find love wherever.

Should people go to bars to find love?
Do what you want. That's what I say.

Or should they go to places where people who like what they like hang out?
See above.

Should men and women be expecting the other to buy the other gifts?
Only on certain days..like birthdays.

Who should wear the pants in the relationship or should it be a mutual give and take?
It should be mutual.

Should chauvinists of either gender be in a relationship?
No.

As long as me and Jon have been dating/known each other/etc. we have never been on the same page. You’ll be glad to know that I finally got my Olive Garden dinner!Hilarities ensued as to how it happened. It happened Thursday evening. I was supposed to sub for Leah and I, of course, was in no rush to get home since I thought Jon was asleep. When I finally looked at my phone after coming out of dance I saw that I had a voicemail from him and checked my phone. He had asked when I was coming home and since I was on my way home I felt in no rush to get there.

Of course when I got home, he was dressed and laying in my bed with the covers over his face. When I pulled back the covers he grins and yells “I’m mad at you!”. Apparently he had planned on surprising me with dinner when I came home and thought that I was coming home straight after work at around 5:30 pm so he could really be ready. It took about 30 minutes to reconvince him to take me out, even though he was tired, and we finally went to dinner.

I always feel overdressed when I go now. Whereas we always dress up whenever we go the crowd around us is usually in jeans and t-shirts. Not to mention all the kids that run around there now. Dinner was okay..I just ordered boring old fettucine alfredo while he had some sort of chicken tortellini dish. Conversations in these types of settings make me nervous. He always wants to have some sort of serious discussion about us that usually involve me explaining my feelings (which he knows I’m terrible at) in which he stated “I’m stubborn over the pettiest things”. Guilty. But he knows I’m terrible at telling my feelings and if I feel some sort of disappointment I shut down. My emotions are all I have in this relationship. And given how turbulent things have been in the past, I’m trying to protect them as best I can. I wish he understood that.

But the night ended well. So, happy camper. :D

Life has been pretty interesting lately. I still hate my job but I'm still looking for a new one. My sister and niece just came to stay with me for a few days since my parents were out of town. I remember why I don't have any children yet. (Aside from the fact that I'm still in my selfish phase I just do NOT have the patience)
My boyfriend just had his 22nd birthday and I'm still waiting for his gift to come in. I bought him a Vampires vs. Werewolves Chess Set which I know he's going to love. It looks pretty cool and maybe now I'll actually learn how to play chess.
I thought that was pretty cool. They didn't have it in the store unfortunately so I'm impatiently waiting for it to be delivered. Hopefully it doesn't get stolen although I don't think my neighbors would even understand the point of vampires vs. werewolves chess.
But everything is starting to look up. Hopefully things will stay that way.

This is not a time to push yourself or be involved in activities that require intense competition or a great expenditure of energy. Reading something that is mind expanding, taking a trip, or planning a vacation is favored at this time.

Wellness: 51%
Intellect: 24%
Love: 70%
Emotions: 17%
Intuition: 71%
Creativity: 89%
Work: 99%
Money: 33%

Power Numbers: 32, 44, 2, 10, 47, 43

Born Today: Ron Howard, Alan Thicke, Roger Daltrey, Harry Belafonte, Lawrence Ferlinghetti, Dinah Shore, Robert Lowell, David Niven

Scorpio Love Horoscope
Your emotions are sensitized now and your intuitive, feeling nature is very strong. You will find yourself gripped by feelings of nostalgia and compassion. The memories of feelings and situations long forgotten come to the surface. See if you can find some resolution which allows you to move on.

Nostalgia is evil. While it gives me butterflies to think of all things past that have been good, it's hard not to think of all the bad that have gone on. I will say that all the bad has made me non the wiser. However thinking about the future is what scares me.

If you're stuck, get your pride off of the road and don't be afraid to ask a work colleague how to do something. You'll be tearing your hair out tyring to work out the solution all alone when you can simply short circuit this whole issue by getting the information from the appropriate person.

Wellness: 63%
Intellect: 87%
Love: 42%
Emotions: 48%
Intuition: 69%
Creativity: 71%
Work: 30%
Money: 83%

Power Numbers: 8, 37, 42, 47, 44, 31

Born Today: Erik Schulz,Matt Groening, Jane Seymour, Melissa Manchester, Claire Bloom, Graham Hill, Cesar Romero, John Barrymore, Ernest H Shackleton, Susan B. Anthony, Thomas Malthus, Galileo Galilei

Scorpio Love Horoscope
Conversations and sharing plans and ideas with those you are closest to are very beneficial now. You understand what others are telling you, and you make yourself clearly understood also. This is a favorable time for getting your message across to someone special, so get on that phone or email! Tell them how you really feel and you might get a return response that's far more favorable than you anticipated.

I just wanted a day. That's all.

Valentine's Day is approaching and all the commercials and overabundance of red and pink hearts won't let me ignore it.

This time of year has me thinking:

What is love?

It's as much of an action as it is an emotion and it had me think of all the people that I currently love in my life as well as the ones I've loved and no longer feel the same way about.

I purposely scheduled that day off, not because of the holiday,(maybe just a little bit. I'm so much of a sucker that I cannot help myself.) but because I now work 6 days a week at my devil job and need a break.

This time last year I remember I was somewhat in a euphoric state and could not wait for V-day to get here. As I had not really ever had one before I could not help but be excited that I would finally get one. Day of, however, I was told I had to "remind" someone to spend time with me and instead of following through, became annoyed, and hopped a plane to go visit the "love of his life". That day, I remember being so mad it I didn't speak a word for about 3 hours. Once I finally did speak, I swore I would never get so worked up over a stupid holiday ever again. (Except for Halloween. Halloween is mos def always important.)

So here it is this time of year again and I can't help but still remember the feelings I had this time last year but also remember that I cannot dwell on the past and remain somewhat of an optimist that this year may be different.

Hope so. :D

My newest obsession ever since the cancellation of Footballers Wives.

(And probably my only safe obsession at the moment.

I first discovered Billie Piper when I was about 12 years old. She had just released a cd in Canada through Much Music (which I adored, at the time, more than anything) and wound up buying her cd when they released it here in the States.

And as usual, we are reluctant to embrace any new artist and she was ultimately dropped from her label.

At least 10 years later I discovered her again in this show. (Yes, I am aware she was in Dr. Who.. but I can't and still cannot get into it for some reason)

The first time I saw it I was absolutely captivated. I immediately watched the first series and could not wait until the second series was released here.

Two days ago, I found out that series two had already come out in the UK and wasn't being released here on Showtime until January. Seeing as I'm ridiculously impatient and don't have Showtime, I rushed to find all the megavideo links (and I must say, megavideo is a Godsend.) and watched the entire second series.

The second series definitely had more shockers than the first. But I am sad it ended. I was looking forward to another series. Oh well.

That's what reruns are for.

Every morning whenever I open up my mozilla browser, my blog is always the first thing to show up. And each day I look at it and tell myself "I need to post a new entry". However, I've noticed I tend to only blog about the boyfriend and post an incessant amount of surveys so I'm just going to split those into seperate categories so one can bypass the boring and get to the interesting post of the day.

(Assuming of course I ever write something of substance.

Second best is all I will know.

...*sigh*.

I'm stuck.

I'm stuck in this place between sleep in awake.

I am fully aware that my body and mine are physically exhausted and I need to go to bed.(Especially since I was nodding off in front of the telly.)

However, I've placed myself in a sort of self-induced insomnia thanks to:

The Internet.

Also due to the fact that I'm obsessively listening to the likes of Vanessa Carlton. She truly does not get the recognition she deserves. And on that note..


I love this song. Correction: I love all of her songs. Methinks it's because I possibly see myself as somewhat of the protagonist in her songs. *shrug*

And I'm in another mood again. I hate the feeling of indifference.

C'est la vie.